Out of sorts

I feel like I'm drowning in my own negativity lately, but I gotta get it out.

I sent a message to my PCP today asking her to write a prescription for Xanax.  This is something I've taken for the past 4 years.  My PCP in Indianapolis originally prescribed it, and he had a nice working relationship with my nephrologist.  When I moved up here, Mayo was my primary source of care for the first 4 or 5 months, so Dr. Fervenza gave me refills on all of my prescriptions.  When Dr. Zand came into the picture, she continued to do the same.

A couple of Friday's ago, I noticed that my Xanax needed a new prescription, so CVS sent the request to Mayo.  After not hearing anything for a few days, I called the next week to find out that the nurses hadn't even looked at my request until Wednesday, and that it would be another 48 hours before the doctor would approve it.  At this point, it was already Friday, and I was at Mayo. I asked Dr. Fervenza about it, and he said that he wasn't going to be filling some of my scripts anymore as my PCP should do that.  I don't have a problem with that, but some notice shorter than 7 days wouldn't been nice.  I was completely out, and this is a medicine that you just don't stop cold turkey.  That whole thing just added to my disdain about my appointment.

So this morning, I sent a message to my PCP via their web app requesting her to fill this med.  She knew I was taking it, but hadn't prescribed it for me in the past.  Needless to say, the reponse I got irritated me too:

"We didn't discuss this issue at your last visit, but I don't prescribe alprazolam for a number of reasons. I can give you a short term prescription for lorazepam, which should work the same but has fewer problems associated with its use. Have your pharmacy send a refill request to our office and we can get a prescription printed and signed; med refill requests are handled faster if you request them through your pharmacy since we have an office process dedicated to that, and messages sent directly to me may not be reviewed if I'm not in the office. I'll need to see you in the office in follow up to continue refilling this, as it is a controlled substance, and you may ultimately find it easier to have your nephrologist here prescribe this for you for the same reason your nephrologist was doing this for you before. See you soon!"

 So, am I going to have to go in for a physical visit, pay a co-pay for each time this happens?  Seems like a waste of money, and time, when we have this lovely thing called EMAIL.  Ugh....I know doctors have a hard time latching on to new technology, but COME ON.  I mean, my job is flexible, but I don't have all this time to be keeping my schedule open in order to go visit the doctor to prescribe a medication that I've been taking for the past 4 years.  This will be 3 doctor's appointments in 5 days....too much.  Considering the stress I'm under, I think it's pretty natural to want this medicine and it works beautifully, but I can tell you that without it, I'm a mess.  Maybe it's partly psychological because I'm aware that I haven't taken it for over a week, but I can feel the edginess creep back in my psyche.  I've got this tightness in my chest that I just can't shake, even after yoga today.

Yoga frustrated me because I just couldn't get into the practice.  And I started having a lot of problems controlling my breathing, which caused me to take frequent breaks in child's pose.  I was completely off balance....guess it could be the combination of my lower blood pressure today (90/63 at this morning's doctor appointment) and the heat of the studio, but it was a very unfulfilling practice for me today.  This, of course, is only adding to my overall frustration.

Thankfully I was able to get an appointment with my PCP for Wednesday, so hopefully I can clear this up and get some other drug if she doesn't like zanax....All in all, I honestly feel that the quality of care I'm receiving has dropped since moving here.  It's definitely been a LOT more work than it was before...there's something to be said with having your nephrologist and PCP within 5 miles of your house, which was the situation I had back in Indy.  And none of them talk to each other....I gotta figure out a way to fix this, and fast.

I hope to have a conversation with my PCP on Wednesday to talk about my schedule, and how difficult it is to make appointments...to find the time.  This usually leads me to delay things, which can't be good in the long run.  Hopefully she'll be willing to do more things via email.  Fingers crossed.....