Randomness...

I realized lately that I've become "that person".

You know that person...heck, maybe you're one of them too.

I'm talking about a Facebook lurker.  Or a "liker".  I spend my Facebook time scrolling through my feed, hiding shit that annoys me (of which there is plenty), and "Like"-ing things, but I hardly ever comment now.  I used to pride myself on being "engaged" with people, but now I'm just.....not.

Maybe it's depression.  Maybe it's lack of time.  Maybe it's sheer laziness.

Whatever it is, it's bothersome to me for some reason.  I know...I know....cut myself some slack...it's only Facebook, but I don't quite see it that way.  I have so many people I consider friends that I've never met in person through Facebook (a lot in the kidney community).  Heck, I started a group on Facebook!  But I hardly engage there right now.  Maybe it's because I don't have something sarcastic to say, and I feel that that's "my voice".  Sometimes I'm just wearing of all the bad karma crap I see out there.  As a liberal feminist, I'm shocked/appalled/horrified by the things that are happening in our world, and feel completely powerless anymore.

Maybe I'm going through a bit of a dip in my emotional state again.  It isn't easy always trying to pretend I'm normal, because I'm definitely not normal.  I push...I strive....and then I need a serious break.  Shit, I'm tired.  I need about 10 hours of sleep a night to feel decent the next day, and that's not been happening lately because I'm busy trying to pretend I don't need 10 hours of sleep.

I joined a kidney transplant group on Facebook and I'm learning a lot.  Some things are scary, while some things are just good to know.  Knowledge is power, right?

Joacim received his packet on the paired exchange program today.....maybe I'm subconsciously freaking out about that too.


Wow.  That's a whole lotta "maybes"........Maybe I'll have an answer someday :)