I have no catchy title...just a lotta whine

More whine today....

I'm not feeling better, and I'm losing patience.  I'm sluggish both physically and mentally....what I wouldn't do for a burst of energy.

I know that yoga makes me feel better....it always has.  Back in January and February, I was going pretty regularly, and I felt so strong and vibrant.  And then pink eye and sinus infection.....nothing's been the same since.  I've tried to go to yoga after work, but I think I described what that's like in my last post :)  I went the other morning, and it felt amazing.  It just made me realize how much of a physical difference there is between the me at 9:45am and the me at 6:45pm.

I've been doing a few manual exchanges during the day to try to help take the weight off, but I can't tell if it's helping or not.  I'm not sure if I should fill with more fluid for a shorter amount of time, or less fluid for a longer amount of time.  It feels like a guessing game, and I'm guessing wrong at every turn.  The weight just keeps creeping on, and I feel powerless right at this moment to stop it.  Usually I can "course correct" quicker, but all o my little tricks aren't working right now.

And my labs.....damn damn labs.  My phosphorus is getting better (lower) but I've been relying on those binders and I didn't ever want to do that.  I saw today that my potassium was high right now, and that worries me more.  It's at 5.9 right now, and high potassium is a risk factor for heart issues, so I feel like a freaking ticking bomb.

I need time. Time to get into a morning yoga schedule.  Time to plan more appropriate meals.  Time to prepare them.  All of these problems are fixable in theory, but the amount of energy it takes to do any of it isn't something I can fix, and it's my limiting factor right now.  Eating healthy takes work, and I don't want to spend my beautiful,  sunny Sunday meal prepping.  We don't get enough of this beautiful weather, and I want to soak in as much as I can.  Besides, I'm so exhausted and sleepy all the time that even if it were a crappy day, I'd still be too tired to do much.

I may have a smile on my face, but in  my head I'm thinking, "fake it till you make it".

Also, no answer from Mayo yet.  My coordinator is on vacation, but I was able to talk to another nurse who's covering for her.  They do have all of my labs, but it probably won't be until Tuesday that I hear anything back.  Good news is that my labs today showed that my albumin was at 2.0, and I don't think it's been there in 4-5 years.  Hopefully it's enough!