Back from a 2-year absence....

This is the first time I've logged onto my blog in 2 years!  I only thought it had been a year since I last posted, but I was way off on that I guess.

So what made me come back?  There are a few reasons:

• First and foremost,  I need another transplant and I hope this blog ends up being seen by someone willing to donate their kidney to me, because a living donor is still my best option.  I've been on dialysis for 3 1/2 years now, and while I'm doing well on it, I would still rather live a life that's not dependent on a machine.

• Last week I participated in the National Kidney Foundation's Big Ask Big Give webinar and it was motivating.  This is a webinar for people looking for a living donor kidney as well as their friends/family.  It was a shortened version (I think) but still great.The purpose of it is to help us better tell our stories in the hopes of finding a living donor.  There's a lot of info that I need to go through, and actually go through the process of working through all of the worksheets, but it's the first time I've been motivated to do anything in regards to the search for a living kidney donor.

• Lynnda ;)  Lynnda is a woman I met several years ago via the interwebs.  Her husband, Tony, has the same disease as I do, and we went through our transplants around the same time, and had similar experiences (she somehow stumbled across this blog).  We've become friends over the years, and occasionally she asks me when I'm going to re-start my blog.  She finds value in my perspective, and she's never given up on me.  It'll be nice to finally tell her that I re-started it ;)

• I think writing down my thoughts/feelings is cathartic for me.  I've noticed my anxiety level is much higher now than when I was regularly blogging here, but my health is actually more stable now than it's ever been.  Maybe getting the words out of my head and into the world will make me feel better.

Last night I had a terrible run.  Well, I didn't actually run at all.  I think I have a narrow spot in my fistula, and the needle that "pulls" blood from my body to the dialysis machine feels like it's sucking a big vacuum, and it doesn't like that at all...the machine just can't run, so I had to abort the whole thing.  When I physically palpate my fistula, I can feel a narrow spot right where the tip of the arterial needle hits.  I called the vascular surgery center today and they initially said that they couldn't get time in until next Tuesday.  I'll try to dialyze again tonight, but my concern is that if it doesn't work, then that will have been 4 days since my last good run.  That means 4 days worth of fluid and electrolyte build-up, and I've already been having problems with high potassium levels (and those are no joke....they can stop your heart instantly, without warning). It's been 3 days and I already feel the effects of no dialysis.  Luckily my dialysis nurse was able to explain all of this to them and they got me in for a fistulagram tomorrow at 11:45am.  A fistulagram is where they go into the fistula itself and inject a dye to see if/where the narrowing is, and if there is one, then they use a balloon angioplasty to try to widen it.  It's a pretty common procedure (one I've had several times), but this is the first time I've been in a hospital since COVID, and it's a lot nerve-wracking.  It should all go smoothly, fingers crossed!!!