I love my kidney peeps! Seriously...they keep me SANE...I think all of us have, at one point or another, run across that person that just doesn't get what you're going through...that makes some comment that almost trivializes your suffering. Those people say things like, "It could be worse.", or "Be thankful for what you have." You know what pisses me off about these people? It's like they've telling me, "Stop yer bitchin'"...
And WHY in the world does bitching about something make me seem not grateful for something else? Case in point...I, most likely, will not be able to have more children. I say this out loud, but it still hasn't sunk in...not really sure if it ever will. And there are some people that, when I mention this, come back with "Be grateful that you were able to have one child". Ok. STOP right there...first of all, I AM GRATEFUL...more than you or anyone will know. I knew that there was a chance I'd only have one while I was pregnant, and boy did I ever savor that. I don't think I complained much at all during pregnancy...I loved every part of it. And I love every part of her (even the whining :) But can I not mourn what may never be? Does that make me somehow not grateful for the beautiful little girl I have? Of COURSE it doesn't. There's no logical connection between those two, yet people consistently reply with that. Maybe there intentions are good...maybe they think that, by saying something like that, that it'll hurt less. Hey, guess what. It doesn't. It just pisses me off.
And you know what? I KNOW it could be worse, because it WILL be worse for me in the future..MUCH worse....kidney transplants, anti-rejection drugs, dialysis. Woohoo! SO STOP TELLING ME THAT IT COULD BE WORSE. Let me bitch, because sometimes, it's the ONLY thing that helps.
Ok, you may resume your normal daily activities. This particular rant is over for now.
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Transplant / Living Donor Info for me (edited)
I wish I would've had this post ready because I had so many people reach out to me after the last one that wanted to share my info. I&#...
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I'm lying here right now in room 6B of the specialty infusion center at the U of M, and it's not going well My first blood press...
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So, for starters, my blood type is O+, so my donor kidney will need to be O+ as well. HOWEVER....if you're blood type is NOT O+, there...
Oh my gosh I could have written this! I get these same comments, especially true with the not having more kids be lucky you have the on stuff. I need to complain, I'm still grateful for what I have DUH!
ReplyDeleteI just had my first meeting with the transplant clinic and yeah it could totally be worse but I still have the right to bitch!
Gah - people can be so thoughtless. Nobody has your life, only you. You absolutely have the right to mourn your loss, and you most likely will more than once. My wife has a medical condition that made planning for the first impossible without medical intervention. Even a year after we decided to make it official that we would only have one child we still talk about "what could have been" and the other what if's.
ReplyDeleteMourn. Do it as often as you need to. And whine about water retention as often, too! It's your life. Your Journey.
I was in the hospital October 2005 with what they thought was my first kidney transplant failing (it came back to life). I had just gotten back from radiology, where they were looking for veins to put a fistula if needed and I was crying in my room...
ReplyDeleteThe nurse comes in and says "You should be grateful, it's not like you lost your legs or anything". I wanted to jump out of the bed and scratch her face off. Please! Take my legs, just give me my natural healthy native kidneys back! When you lose your legs, you can still be healthy! No meds for life, no suppressed immune system, no high risk for cancer! No stupid side effects! No anemia or swelling or muscle cramps!
My point is, when people say it could be worse, yeah, obviously it could and probably will, but our reality at the moment is what it is. No one who hasn't been there has the right to judge or make stupid comments.
On another note, after being told I couldn't have kids my entire life, my transplant center thinks it is entirely possible now that I have a functioning, healthy kidney. Don't give up hope.
LOL Jenn! I love you so much! If Macy were an adult, you would be two peas in a pod.
ReplyDeleteI'm 26 from Norwich as I found out I had FSGS when I was 18 after trying to get big with protein and my body saying no and a couple of weeks in hospital. I agree with a rant!, I don't want to sound harsh - but for me I got FSGS for no reason!! You smoke - You could get cancer, You Drink - You could kiss good by to your liver. But at odds FSGS of around 1 in 100,000 i'm not going to win the lottery now!, I've been very lucky so far and my function is around 23% and going down about 1% a year, so I praying for some medical advances or their have been cases where is just stops (PLEASE ME!!!).
ReplyDeleteAaron