I've got a pretty awesome community of people with FSGS, and I'm going to guess that I'm not alone in this, but do you guys look back at the friendships you had before and after diagnosis, and wonder why some of them changed? Or do you have those people that kept telling you that they'd be there for you, but all you hear are crickets.
For me, I don't want to have to remind people them that I'm here..to remind them that I'm going through my own little bit of hell sometimes, or also to share some good news. I wish THEY would remember ME all by themselves. There were quite a few people that said they'd be there for me, but months go by before I hear from them. And listen, I GET that life gets busy, but how much time does it really take to make contact? I mean, I'm puttin' it all out here on this blog...people can pretty easily check to see how I'm doing. You know what makes me the happiest? When someone comments on one of my blogs. That shows that someone took the time to read it, and better yet, took the time to reach out. I'm guessing the effort took all of a couple of minutes. That's all it takes for me when I do it.
I'll admit, I hold a grudge too. That's certainly not a redeeming quality of mine, and I'm working on it, but when my feelings get hurt, it's REALLY hard for me to get past it.
Luckily, there ARE people that surprise you...people that you don't have NEARLY the history with that step up and fill that need. Hopefully you guys know who you are, and if I haven't said thank you already, THANK YOU. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, for listening to me bitch and moan, for taking my mind off of things sometimes. Thank you for making me feel loved. :)
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See, I feel like a putz for not reading posts more quickly. I do take the time because it's important to hear and see and read about how others are doing. I don't have much, if any, FSGS community in person. Facebook has helped, a lot.
ReplyDeleteSo here I sit, Friday night, catching up with friends that I have never met. And I could not be happier. :)
Hey, I found your blog through Inspire. I was diagnosed with FSGS 1 1/2 years ago but suffered with it for at least a year before I was diagnosed. I know exactly how you feel. I used to have really close friends that drifted away from me after I got sick.. like it was just too much for them. I'm not even a complainer so I'm not sure what happened and it really hurt. A lot. But, over the course of the last few months I have come to forgive them, I get that their lives go on, even though it feels like mine has stalled (in the I just want to be in remission so bad zone).
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE LOVED!!!
ReplyDeleteI fear I am in the 'where did they go?' category. I know I am. There has been a grotesque lapse in communication! And for that I am deeply, deeply sorry. I have literally fallen off planet earth...I can tell this judging by the sheer amount of 'are you still alive' e-mails that I get. So please don't feel singled out. Even though you'd never know it (unless you have developed some bitchin' telepathy skills), you are in my thoughts so often. Shall we try for a Skype this weekend? It would be great to make amends for being so awful a friend and correspondent lo these last few months!