I feel like I'm spiraling : FSGS Sucks

I saw on Nephspace or Inspire the other day asking who do you think you'd be if you didn't have FSGS.  When I first read it, I thought it was a ridiculous question...I mean, what does it matter?  But then today, I started to wonder.  Would things "feel" easier if I didn't have this?

I'm spriraling downward today, and here's why:

1.  I'm indescribably tired....sleepy even, which is a bit unusual for me.  I think I almost fell asleep typing at work this morning.
2.  I have training at work at 7:00am tomorrow, which means I will get even less sleep tonight.
3.  Izzy was in bed by 6:30pm which also means I'll get less sleep because she'll wake up screaming and come into our bed asking for water or whatever else.
4.  I'm gaining an uncomfortable amount of weight.
5.  I was going to work out today, but then our realtor called and wants to do a showing tomorrow.  Good news, you'd think, unless you saw how messy we let the place get.
6.  Didn't get to work out because of said mess in item #5 that we had to clean up.
7.  I feel fat.
8.  Izzy's been an emotional NIGHTMARE lately.  From the moment she opens her eyes in the morning, it's very vocal drama....and it's exhausting.
9.  I'm VERY swollen today...up to my knees.  I feel swollen around my ribs...it feels harder to breathe today.
10.  I've been fighting a cold since Thursday.  It's been fairly mild, so why do I walk around feeling like the other shoe's going to drop and I'm going to get REALLY sick?
11.  Sooooooo much work to do at work.
12.  I can't seem to get anyone at General Mills to look at my resume.
13.  Have I mentioned how fat I feel?  Seriously...I can't stand it.  It makes me sick to look at myself.  I hate it...I hate hate hate how I feel and look every single frickin' day.  And yoga tomorrow???  I won't be able to go because of this DAMN SHOWING scheduled right in the middle of it.
14.  Still nervously/anxiously awaiting my biopsy results from my LEEP last week.

I keep telling myself that it'll all get better soon, but will it?  That's the point I was trying to get to at the beginning.  All of this before would've been no big deal, but feeling like I do physically, it's so draining.  And there's nothing coming back in to fill me up....it just keeps getting taken and sucked outta me.  Take take take....I need someone/something to give give give.  And I'm also one of those people that can't enjoy good things until I get all of my tasks out of the way, and at the rate I'm going, my enjoyment will come right around NEVER.