Having a tunneled catheter is exactly as awful as it sounds

The first time I got my dialysis catheter was while I was inpatient in the hospital. The first one was a neck catheter, done in cases where it would be relatively short term and because I had been taking blood thinners.  Three days after the neck catheter went in, they put a tunneled chest catheter in, and then a day later my PD catheter went in.  That was a LOT for my body that week, but I was in great care and getting pumped with great drugs.  I was also so sick that anything was better than the way I was feeling before I went in the hospital.

THIS time, I've had a few more days to prepare for it, but it didn't help.  It's exactly as awful as I remember it being.  It hurts.  It burns.  It itches.

I started crying on the way to the hospital.  Then I got mad because they got me in over an hour late.   Then I started crying hysterically in the procedure room.  Then they gave me drugs and I focused on seeing if I could stay awake the whole time, but I must not have been able to do that because I don't remember anything after that.

This must've been taken while I was still out, or trying to come to.  I have some weird look on my face.  Killer photo.

And then I took this selfie because I wanted to see what it looked like this time.  I look like hell.  Hospital fluorescent lighting is as unforgiving as dressing room lighting.

I was so glad to get home, but it was a painful ride.  Joacim brought the recliner back into the loft, and my little table, and there I sat with my ice for the catheter, heating pad for my back and saltines for my tummy.

Izzy spent the day with my friend, Jess, and her kids and they did all sorts of fun stuff.  I'm very thankful that friends offer to help with Izzy when it comes to things like this, because it's no fun for her to sit in a hospital with me.  No mom is that cool.  Anyway, Izzy (and Joacim) were incredibly helpful last night, getting me whatever I needed.  We decided to watch a movie, and Izzy wanted to sit next to me, so she pulled up her rocking chair next to the recliner and we all watched Hotel Transylvania.

I got up to go to bed, and got awful chills, which I contribute to the anesthesia.  It was incredibly painful to my incision site....I started to get overwhelmed with pain and cold and then I just cried.  Izzy, unfortunately, was watching the whole time, and I could tell she was freaked out.  I mean, it was violent chills.  It's awful that she had to witness that, but once I got the heating pad back again and Joacim helped me hookup for my nightly dialysis (yes, still doing PD until Monday), we snuggled in bed until we fell asleep.

I slept terribly (no surprise).  I have no appetite as nausea is lingering.  I did eventually vomit this afternoon, and have spent the rest of the day lying in this damn recliner.  It's sunny outside, and I'm already tired of watching TV.  The hospital didn't send me home with any pain meds....they said to use Tylenol.  Laughable.  

Whine, whine, whine....I know, it's what I do now.