June 19

The donor coordinator for Mayo Clinic called Adam today, and let him know that they want him to repeat the blood pressure monitoring in 30 days, which is June 19th.  So it's "sort of" an answer for now, I guess....

I know...I know...it's not a "No".  I swear...if one more person tells me that I may freak out.  It's not a "No", but it sure as hell isn't a "Yes" either, and that's what I need.  Telling me that I should be glad it's not a "No" makes me want to punch you.  Seriously.

I'm much calmer today regarding the outcome than I was Monday (which, after reading my previous paragraph, you may doubt :), which is either because I've had time to let all of the feelings settle, or I'm already emotionally dead inside.  Some days, I definitely think it's the latter.

I'm not going to go on and on about what I feel today, because frankly, it doesn't matter.  There is absolutely nothing I can do to better this particular part of my situation except for wait, which just sucks.

I may go a little silent here over the new few weeks as there really isn't much else to update.  Dialysis continues to go on, and I'm continuing to do "well" considering I have a tube coming out of my abdomen and require a machine 9 1/2 hours a night to live.  I'm struggling with a LOT of fluid retention right now, and I'm really hoping it's somehow related to the anxiety of the last couple of weeks.  Having a few weeks to get off of this roller coaster sounds good right now.

Thank you....ALL of you...for your support and kindness.  I AM "feeling the love" right now, and I'm truly grateful because it DOES help me weather the storm.